Knowing When to Make a Change
Eleven years, eight months and twenty-one days: that’s how long I worked for my previous employer. It was my first professional job. As a young adult, I grew up while working there. Many milestones took place around the walls of my cubicle.
I moved out of my parents’ house, watched season after season of the Bachelor and then talked about it the next day with my cubicle buddies … Spent many hours crafting my talent on professional phone etiquette ... Became an aunt and my dad died.
My co-workers were like family. They were there every time I would get that gut-wrenching phone call from my mom saying the ambulance was called for my dad. They were there when I filled out the paperwork to go on a family medical leave to help take care of him, knowing the next time I returned to work, he would be gone.
They looked at every photo I showed them of my niece and nephew.
But – I sat at my desk, day after day, thinking about the career I wanted to have. It was like electricity running through my body – have you guys ever felt that? Being in one place, knowing you’re supposed to be in a different place?
I wanted to go back to school for the last ten years but I didn’t want to take out more student loans. I finally paid off my first round of school loans after 12 years. I felt free. I didn’t have to live like a broke college student anymore. I could finally support myself and buy all of the pretty pillows and throws at target until my heart was content. But - that electricity thing I mentioned before - the desire to pursue my passions, just got stronger.
So, I sat at my desk at work, driving myself crazy. I either tried to refocus my priorities and be thankful that I had a secure job I knew like the back of my hand or I used every posted note on my desk to write down the plans I needed to do to get from point A to point B for my desired career.
Let’s talk about comfort zones for a minute – I was comfortable.
I was a level three customer service representative, which meant I trained new employees, I was trusted with responsibility and I was paid more. And now I’m thinking about jumping out of an airplane! (OK - I would never actually jump out of an airplane).
How do we know what God’s will is? How do we know when to make a move, especially a big one?
I asked my pastor friend Daniel if he could answer this question for me.
“First, I think our framework for understanding God’s will matters. I used to sit back and wait for God to speak to me or show me some sign before I did anything but then I realized there are a lot of things God has already asked me to do in scripture that I wasn’t doing. Go, serve, give, love, teach, forgive and bless. The rest comes down to being led by the Holy Spirit. God speaks to me through images, music, nature and His voice that is like a whisper in my thoughts. When I have prayed for big life decisions, God’s peace directs me. I feel peace about a decision, even if it’s terrifying or I will feel sick about it … if it’s wrong.”
In 2018, my family and I celebrated our second Christmas without my dad. It was a little easier than the year before, but far from normal. We all understand what that means now – Who said 2020 was their year? Hello COVID-19.
I actually thought 2020 was my year!
During the spring of 2019 something changed inside of me - Do I want to spend the next 30 years of my life working in customer service (talking on the phone) or do I want to change directions and pursue a career that I love?
Does God start a new thing the same time He closes a chapter in our lives?
The month I began working for my employer when I was 26, was the same month God started showing me the chapter of my life at that job was coming to an end, eleven years later. The month of April has a whole new meaning to me.
What did that all mean? I prayed about it. A lot. And tried to trust God while not knowing what was up ahead.
I googled my dream job so many times … Content Creator (or Media Coordinator) at a non-profit organization. I needed a different degree, in journalism.
Ok, so I could take this leap into the unknown and see where God would lead me or continue to sit at my desk at work and drive myself crazy. To be honest, that electricity thing was getting stronger - it was like my heart was jumping out of my chest. I couldn’t sit there any longer.
I remember the moment I said to myself – if I have to take out student loans, I’m ok with that. I settled the battle in my heart – I’m going after the dream (those five words changed my life) – so I started making steps toward college.
There are times when the Holy Spirit will speak directly to us on what to do – BUT …
In my short existence, I have learned that sometimes we need to take risky steps trusting that God will come along side us and guide us in the right direction - as long as we are continuing to follow Him and seek Him in prayer.
So that’s what I did – I jumped out of the airplane.
I applied to Kent State University, got accepted and enrolled in full-time classes, left my job of eleven years and started over.
Two months later – COVID-19 hit.